Animal Crossing MAFIA [TOWN WIN]

Oh, right, I'm playing a game!
...
Well, this looks pretty clear-cut.
Vote: Nautilus

Though this still feels strange...the only games I've been in with an ousted Maf this early in the game have been ones where I was Maf. With my track record on voting and overall success, watch Nautie flip Town. XD

(BTW, this is just me talking, I'm not saying to vote on anyone else. =P Esp. with Lucas's clarification on the rollover phrasing...yeah, seems more than likely Nautilus is Mafia.)

well then
vote nautilus

high seraph wrote:VOYT TALLY

nautilus VII
high seraph I

Ninfia vs nautilus
Kiyoko vs nautilus
Sammiya vs chinomi nautilus
chinomi vs nautilus
Cure vs nautilus
nautilus vs high seraph
Tiki vs nautilus
adawg vs nautilus

btw it's 10:30PM now, so there's still 1:30h until this phase is over. long enough for nautilus to tl;dr and explain her baseless vote on me!!! sits down and waits

WELL, WHATEVER, I'M GOING TO BE LYNCHED SOON AND I HAVE A HUGE TL;DR TO POST. IT'S LONG SO IT'S ACTUALLY VERY CORRECT








































You know what grinds my gears? Even more than being lynched on d1 in a mafia game? The fucking turnip economy. Animal Crossing is notorious for making these root vegetables cause premature balding and increased stress in many people, and the hilarious thing is eating the damn things does nothing. You can leave them in your house and maybe put them in your letters if you’re the kind of friend who mails care packages full of boxes of beets and radishes to your friends and you can litter them all over the floor of your town but eating them? You fucking stuff the goddamn things raw into your mouth dirt and all and nothing happens. Absolutely nothing. Animal Crossing is ridiculous when it comes to food. In New Leaf, you can buy a frickin’ sushi platter that looks fucking delicious and not like the cheap ass sushi that you get from that seedy restaurant down the road, no. It looks glorious. And you know what it’s used for? It’s used as a piece of frickin’ furniture. And you place it in your home and you can’t even eat the thing and it just sits there and rots. I’ve had a sushi platter in my house in the open in a cockroach infested room and it just sits there. You can’t eat it. It’s there for points. The hilarious thing is when the Happy Home Academy comes in and checks out your house in the dead of night because privacy is not a thing in Animal Crossing: New Leaf they look at that plate of rotting sushi on your table and apparently think that that warrants good design. Instead of calling in the public health department they instead give you a bunch of rudimentary checkmarks on their clipboards and mail you a complimentary t-shirt in a few days. They say that an animal’s digestive system is different from a human’s but I’d like to think in a world where animals can read comic books and do kickboxing despite not having the appendages required to do so they would have similar standards for public health.

The hilariously sad thing is that in Animal Crossing New Leaf your villagers will tell you about potatoes and French fries and gelato or whatever and you never see it. Even though you’re the mayor and the animals should be rolling out the red carpet whenever you grace their houses, they never show you any of the food. Add to that that you apparently live in a goddamn bizarre world where a piece of rotten fruit can emerge from a tree fully formed and it makes you want to round up half your villagers and sacrifice them in an arcane fire ritual in your basement.

Anyways.

The funny thing about turnips is that you buy them from a sow named Joan and you’re warned that they only last about a week. In a world of made-for-TV material where green bags can keep produce fresh for up to 30 days , your town is apparently cut off from the world enough that these don’t exist and your turnips rot and become pieces of trash after a week. They also rot if you do any time travelling, which means if you live in any locale that observes Daylight Savings Time you’re basically fucked to hell and beyond because the moment you reset your clock all of your turnips will appear eaten by some unknown figure who takes one giant chomp out of them. The ghost of DST past. I’d advise you to move to Arizona, which doesn’t even observe DST at all, but there are places in Arizona which observe DST and then there are places in Arizona which don’t observe DST within those places, so I’d advise you to stay away from that clusterfuck entirely.

Why am I making a big fuss about these root vegetables which have a shorter shelf-life than I do in most mafia games? Because they’re the fucking equivalent of gold. Vegetable gold. They’re oil, if oil was a root vegetable.


People don’t buy turnips to eat, they buy them because they like to gamble away their life savings in order to become billionaires. You sell them to Re-Tail and there’s a chance you can make back 6x of what you bought the piece of root for in the first place, and boom! You’re a fucking bell baron overnight. You think finding oil is lucrative? Think about opening up your game of ACNL and finding out that your town is buying turnips from 600 bells. I bet your ass that’s a lot better than trying to dig random holes everywhere and damaging the environment.

The problem is that people lose big, too. For every winner in ACNL there are losers, and sometimes you’ll want to throw that alpaca out a window. You gamble too much and lose everywhere. For every bell baron out there, there are bell paupers (not bell peppers) who once were living large but now are on the run from 40 different bell collection agencies, have a bounty placed on them by Tom Nook, and are in it deep with Crazy Redd.


The key is that people love turnips. There’s charts that track the four different kinds of trends out there. There’s an app that uses arcane magic to predict what your turnip forecast is going to look like in the week. There’s entire forums devoted to the high art of trading these giant useless pieces of vegetable. People place them all over their towns waiting for the perfect day to sell them all off and become rich overnight.

And the moment you tell a large group of people that turnips are selling high in your town?

Spoiler:

All hell breaks loose. I've seen too many people destroyed by turnip trading, so fuck that noise.


Also I voted Lucas because he sucks and every time I have an ACNL party with people he's always busy or his internet is down. It's like nautilus vs the world with the seven evil ex-boyfriends here plot please don't be the 8th.

Based on the fact that nautilus isn't defending herself I'm guessing she's actually maf, and if she was the one who sent in the NK she's probably also the lynchproof one because you don't risk outing your cop or framer by having them send in the NK. So uh, if she survives this, then go vig go I guess.

Kiyoko wrote:So uh, if she survives this, then go vig go I guess.

Go vig or go home?

other than the fact that mitsu's post is triggering the fuck out of me, i can confirm that turnips are gold

source: I made 200,000,000 bells off of turnips.

Real talk: The lynch was pretty much set while I was afk for most of the day and unlike the other game where I was mislynched I am not a stunvigilante, so, yolo

Truthfully I would not like to die because I love the theme of this game but the lynch is pretty much set in stone so I welcome death with open arms. I can haunt the thread with bad animal crossing facts from beyond the grave

thanks lucas xo

best early birthday gift

nautilus wrote:Real talk: The lynch was pretty much set while I was afk for most of the day and unlike the other game where I was mislynched I am not a stunvigilante, so, yolo

gg yolo swag

I knew there was a reason i liked you.

Still gonna try to get you the hell outta the game though, given what's publicly known about the roles in this game. XD

Actually, to be completely honest, I'd prefer not to brutally die by vigilante for a couple reasons. Some of them I'm actually not sure if I can say at the moment (that are actually more game-relevant and aren't me just dicking around) but. Here are the more superficial comments.

1) I can say that if I live past this phase I promise to post lots of informative and deeply interesting tl;drs in the thread that will make people consider things in a well-thought out manner. I don't think I can do that while I'm dead, lol.

2) My birthday is this month and the vigilante should give me a birthday present by not kicking me out of the town.

3) I will weed all of your towns for you while you're away. For free.

I also apparently got a browser redirect ad despite having adblock while making this post so uh I think that's some kind of sign that I should probably get the fuck out of the thread or something.

TELL ME WHY CHARLISE DESERVES A BIRTHDAY PRESENT

Okay then.

I'm the most useless of the three mafia members and I can't do anything but submit the night kill (which I may or may not have submitted, take your pick).

Vigilante should probably save their shot for someone who actually is an active threat like Katie, rather than someone who can be lynched in an orderly manner later on and who has no other power than sending in the night kill (and Francine can handle blocking me that is). There's enough people alive at this point that vigilante can afford a mis-shot on a town member if necessary.

Also I will make more posts in this game.

Follow for most soft turnip posts

@Chinomi - BECAUSE.............................. YOU NEED TO KNOW ME BETTER

Yeah but if the vig kills you they get an achievement so uh