Literary UPICK || Town Edition

Do you prefer fruits or vegetables?
Do potatoes count as vegetables?

What do you do about food?

Does grabbing the first thing out of the fridge count as cooking?

Do you like animals?

ANIMALS ARE AWESOME

How would your friends describe you?

Kawaii

What’s your favorite game?

I’LL SET YOU ON FIRE.

What’s your posting style?

SORRY HOSRS I PROMISE I’LL POST

Welcome one and all to the very special edition of HEY YOU KNOW WHAT TASTES GOOD?
Today's answer to the question that defines the theme of our cooking show is TOWN. Let's learn how to prepare some TOWN in the most delicious ways possible that everyone can try at home!



Luxaria

What it is: Luxaria's a value steak, but that doesn't mean it's not delicious when you get the right slab and have it prepared properly. Pot roast is all chuck. The rest goes into burgers.
How to cook it: Because it's a tougher cut, you need to pay special attention; if you keep it on the grill too long, chuck's gonna be tougher than a certain Texas Ranger. You can also braise it, but you'll definitely want to hit it with some tenderizer first. Or tie it up and roast it.
Sauce pairing: A thin framing sauce works the best.

Drandahl

What it is: A long, fatty cut from the diaphragm, this bad boy's usually what you're eating in a fajita or in a stir-fry. You'll also find it served up on a skillet and cut against the grain to maximize tenderness.
How to cook it: Perhaps because doctors without CC are so fucking annoying, the Drandahl can be pretty tough, so you'll want to marinate this sucker for a while before you either toss it on a high-heat grill or braise it. Make sure to cut it against the grain to maximize juiciness. Oh, and before you do anything, remove the gross unreadably tiny text formatting.
Sauce pairing: Either a CC salsa or an anti-robot sauce. Soak it well or it will defy all your endeavours to cook it and its brethren.



T3tsuya

What it is: For a while, this hunk of bottom sirloin was typically used for burgers. Then, in the '20s of chapters, someone decided that it would be better off as a steak that grills others. He was not right, but close enough -- this steak is best grilled and smoked with their own devices.
How to cook it: Grill that sucker. Or it will grill you.
Sauce pairing: Smother it in NK sauce or you'll regret it later.

Mr. Gerbear

What it is: One of the most universally loved cuts around the world, it's a mainstay in pho and extremely popular on the lynch menu. To mafia, it's basically the house animal.
How to cook it: There are a billion ways to cook it, but in the interest of not being touched by the guy who likes to touch corpses, the best way is to hit it with a rub and then slow-smoke it until it's basically falling apart and rocks a pink ring otherwise reserved for certain openings that we do not speak of in polite societies.
Sauce pairing: A tangy distrust in one's own results and lack of confidence fits in with the flavours nicely.



Lulu

What it is: Snek. Snek meat is delicious but extremely hard to obtain. You should be ready for a lot of work, starting by skinning it carefully and then slicing it thinly into serpent-shaped slices that are best grilled or roasted quickly on each side, so that they remain juicy inside.
How to cook it: Grill or roast them quickly or they might escape your grasp unexpectedly. And no one will eat dinner that night.
Sauce pairing: Sneks are naturally soaked in many protects, and possibly a redirect or two, so you don't need to add any additional sauces.

Eleni

What it is: The tenderest, leanest part of the TOWN. It is the source of the filet mignon.
How to cook it: You can roast it but hit it with a gun first, and cut it into nice little bloody medallions, or blast that sucker in a broiler or on a grill to get the maximum flavor out of it. The choice is up to you, but it's a piece that is highly valuable yet can be hard to obtain.
Sauce pairing: Either a cat zodiac gun or a NK sauce... or put a bullet tail on top and call that sauce. (Of the bullet that you hit it with. Because bullets shot on cat nights have tails.)



Deo

What it is: Most popularly used for the ultra-rare Hyrule broil and cut in chunks for stir-fry and carne asada, the Deo's like the Drandahl's tougher brother, even though it doesn't seem so at first sight -- and it typically requires either a super-slow or super-fast cook in order to become chewable.
How to cook it: You're gonna need to marinate this sucker, then either braise it or broil the holy hell out of it. Either way, you need to keep an eye on it so it doesn't run away straight from your pot.
Sauce pairing: Hit it with your favourite NK sauce and hope it soaks in well, or you'll have to marinate it again. (Or go hungry. Again.)

Alcasync

What it is: A very rare piece, alpaca meat is quite the special treat. The best kind is obtained by naturally dying alpacas, or ones that suicide jumping off the mountain cliffs on the grassy hills that they grazed on.
How to cook it: Slowly broil it, but keep a close watch on that sucker, or it might attempt to send actions right from your pot. Luckily though, it does not have the means to escape pots like some other choice pieces of meat that we've introduced in our show today.
Sauce pairing: Thick roulette sauce works best, but you can also hit it with jail salsa over its head. It is, after all, possible to jail ghosts.

What on earth is this.

I love it.

Tiki The Troll wrote:

*Sees sammiya list people for funsies. Gets excited.
*Doesn't appear in either list.*

Please provide a trigger warning. Some members of this forum, especially those made from dough and cinnamon and covered in icing, may experience anxiety and panic attacks over three-foot-tall blue Disney aliens. Thank you for being sensitive to the psychological needs of others.

I... I'm proud of my result! ;w;

@Tiki - B-But... you didn't do the quiz...

So I'm guessing mafia and hosrs took the quiz beforehand and the town that got closest to their result got matched with the corresponding mafia?

The recipes were something else, though.