After some discussion with the host and more time spent releasing zubats than is healthy for the ecosystem I got a lead as to what my role actually is. maybe. this could all be one giant ruse cruise and i do all this thinking only to discover that i am still vanilla wafer all along.
please do not kill me until i figure it out or i will be sorely disappointed, and may or may not still be explosive. if i decide i need to die to activate my role and am sufficiently noncombustible, i will let you all know so that you can kill me after adhering strictly to protocol, following all lab safety guidelines, and making sure the paperwork is in order
there is a way these things are done