You take a sip from your cup and survey the room. Perhaps this isn't what you had bargained for. The "catered lunch" ended up being a pile of sandwiches from a local fast-food chain, and the "live entertainment" turned out to be… well, a fortune teller, who isn't even ready yet. John Smith certainly has a very strange idea of what a corporate retreat should be like. But this is John Smith's first corporate retreat, and he probably expects his employees to take it all in stride.
After each employee present shares their personal mottoes, John Smith congratulates all of you, using names you don't know. It occurs to you that you have never actually come face to face with anyone here. You're all strangers to each other, despite working in cubicles and hallways next to each other for months or even years. Some of these faces fade in and out in your mind as you mull them over, but to be frank, you've never even exchanged words.
Your life in P. P. P. Co. was contained in a box that could barely fit you and your computer.
Maybe this is why John Smith organized this retreat.
John Smith has fixed the PowerPoint. He shows a few slides on leadership and recaps the rough year that P. P. P. Co. has had. There's a tear in his eye as he describes the poor quarter reports and falling profits, but he brings it back with a rousing speech about overcoming adversity. You can see the excitement in his eyes as he extols the benefits of this retreat. John Smith makes references to "well-oiled machines" and "cooperation over conflict" about twenty-five times in 10 minutes.
John Smith then flashes the strangest inspirational message on the screen.
You vaguely recall seeing this in his office once. It hangs next to a picture of him in a suit on his back wall, surrounded by an infinite amount of filing cabinets. You question why John Smith has this on his wall over say, a picture of his family, but maybe things are better left unanswered.
John Smith then announces that the next hour will be devoted to team-building activities. Out of the corner of your eye, you see what looks to be a trust-fall exercise constructed out of precariously stacked chairs.
Oh.
The second activity of the retreat is one meant to improve interpersonal relations. As you can probably guess, none of you really know each other. Sharing and communication is key to building trust within our corporate culture.
The (optional) activity for today is for each employee to share one fact about themselves to the larger group. It can be anything from what you ate today to an interesting tidbit about your life, but please refrain from sharing anything too inappropriate for a company event.