((I admit to pre-writing the first half of this in excitement for this thread.))
It was night, but then, it was always night in Traverse Town. Time didn’t work here, just as time didn’t work in Night Vale, and Carlos was starting to believe that the concept of time, that indefinite continued progress of events that define an ordering for our intermeshed experiences, had never really worked anywhere at all.
Unfortunately, the Investigation into the Actualities of Chronology Experiment would have to wait, because Carlos had so much else to do, and wasn’t it interesting how time, which, scientifically speaking, had not yet been proven to function, or even exist, reached ever into distant eternity and yet always seemed to run out just when you needed the most of it.
He had an announcement to make. This was one of the many items on his list of so much else to do.
Traverse Town did not have a town hall. It did not have a radio station. It did, coincidentally and fortunately, have a radio host, but that was neither here nor there. It also had a stairway, spilling out into the courtyard, and statistically speaking, speaking strictly in the realm of statistics, stairs were a prime location for making announcements.
He cleared his throat.
“Hello, my name is Carlos, and I want to talk to all of you about science.”
That was a great opener. He’d practiced it in front of the covered mirror in his makeshift lab next to Cid’s Accessory Shop. (No one sells accessories like Cid. No one.) He might not have Cecil’s effortlessly smooth tones and linguistic dexterity, but hey. He’d said his name, and included the word “science,” and really, what else could anyone ask for?
“I don’t… really know most of you. Or any of you, really. With, I suppose, one exception. But that’s okay! Because I’m not here to talk about how much I know people or... don’t know people, or even about people at all. I’m not interested in people; I am a scientist, not an anthropologist.
“I want to talk to you about the universe. About its mysteries. About how science is the unravelling of the unknown into smaller parts, known and yet more unknown. And how the unknown will always outnumber the known, and how that’s okay, how that’s wonderful even, because it means that our lives, our existences in this vast unknown world, are full of endless possibility. And that is the most exciting scientific fact of all!”
He gestured, then, upwards towards the black and infinite cosmos (mostly void, partially stars).
And even as he spoke, a handful of stars glimmered one final glimmer, and in a collective sigh of ennui, winked forever out.
“And… I’m here because of the same reason all of you are here. Because I don’t really know how to get back home--I don’t really even know if there’s a home to get back to. And I know there’s this whole… feather hunting war thing going on.” Here, he made vague, fluttering hand gestures indicative of a feather hunting war. “But I… don’t really think it involves me. Which isn’t to say that I don’t want to return to Night Vale, because I do. I really do. But you see, everything I care about is already here. I have my scientific instruments and bubbling flasks, I have my…” Involuntary glance in the direction of a certain local community radio host. “Well, I have Cecil. And I have science. Because science is everywhere--even in this small-town otherworld I now consider my temporary but indefinite residence.
“And I know there are arguments to be made, both scientific and otherwise, about the morality of destroying one world for the sake of saving a previously-destroyed and perhaps far more sentimentally valued one. But science doesn’t care about fairness and morality, and what’s right or wrong. Science just, it just is. Science doesn’t take sides. And scientists don’t take sides either.”
A deep breath. A pause to let the information settle. And then after a beat.
“Scientists do, however, support local community radio. That is, scientifically speaking, one of the many things that scientists do.”
((Also, if you would like to make a contribution to your local scientific research center, please avoid stunning any scientists during the night. Science doesn’t take sides, and its research results will be equally beneficial to both town and mafia.
Today’s proverb: If it looks like mafia, swims like mafia, and quacks like mafia, it is not mafia. It is a duck.))
((Edit: Holy crap this turned out longer than expected. Uhh you guys totally don't have to make posts this long. I swear it was originally meant to be shorter, and then Carlos happened.))